This experience is with me every moment.

Only despite the lovely and annoying array of qualities this experience has bestowed upon me, they're incidental.

Meaning, as much as ppl say that my contributions to the world are valued, no one really wants to admit what they really think. That's just something you all say to make yourself feel better about being afraid of being damaged yourselves.

Fortunately, this can be quantified by lack of income and number of childhood cancer survivors who are forced to live with their parents their entire lives. No one know what happens when their parents die - the earliest survivors aren't old enough yet. 5-10 years from now we will.

Cancer is not a a gift. I'm ready for my blue pill now.