impervious to suffering

Well, here I am.

Oprah once stole a great question from Gene Siskel, which is "what do you know for sure". Most of the time, I know absolutely nothing for sure. I'm far too malleable for my own good. What I can say is that something that I know sometimes, is that writing can be good for me.

When I stopped posting to this blog a few years ago, the way I was experiencing the 'writing process' for posting some intensely personal thoughts to a virtual and public space became negative for me. I started a blog to document what I consider to be injustices in my life that other ppl may be running into as well, but wasn't necessarily interested in cultivating readership so much as cultivating my way of expressing and presenting what I must go through day to day.

Getting the same response that I do in my day to day life (namely, sympathy or nothing) sucked more than I had thought it would. More to the point, it triggered symptoms of PTSD (being ignored and abandoned being triggers for me).

I finally found some therapy for my PTSD that works (neurofeedback - whole other post).

The point of today's post is to pose this question:

How is it with North American culture that we have created a species of human so incapable of digesting pain and suffering in a meaningful way? The social construction of sucky and life obliterating shit in the public sphere is so white washed and IMO, leads ppl to believe that skirting and avoiding individuals who are clearly suffering and in need of support is an okay life choice, justifing a 'fuck them, I have to look out for myself' attitude. (See also: Oprah).

My husband-to-be has met me, loves me, lives with me, and has signed up for the long haul. He's one of the few who has looked at my mess of a life and thought 'she seems cool, and I can handle that shit, so we're good'. Unlike the usual 'she seems cool, but wow - too much crap to deal with. buh-bye'. I include almost all my family members in category #2. Most of his family members fall into category #1.

"So what's the deal with them" I asked myself. Well, I'm glad I asked. I think it's a skill set situation. In that, his parents are both hearing impaired. They too deal with all kinds of ignorance and crap every day and are vulnerable to attack. They get the importance of forming your own community and sticking by each other as a buffer to those attacks. Future hubby isn't hearing impaired himself, but a) gets their need for community b) gets that it's not cool for him to exploit them and c) thinks nothing of forgoing the need to 'have fun' to be their for the people in his life who he loves - call it sacrifice or not, to him supporting ppl with vulnerabilities is no sweat, because he has a skill set for it.

The rest of the world - not so much. You'll note in this article that even the 'disgusted' ppl still felt the need to run with and lament what is a socially constructed label that was laid on an infant (about as voiceless a creature as they come). Disability = burden. Case closed.

As someone who has been written off due to chronic PTSD I'd like to say this. With therapy and respect, I'm not a burden to anyone. The ignorance I face every day however is a tremendous burden to me. Please knock that shit off.